People often try to change others because it challenges their expectations or disrupts their sense of control. When things don’t happen as they anticipate, it can feel unsettling, even threatening, to their worldview. It’s not just about disliking the unexpected—it’s also about the mental and emotional effort required to adapt to differences. Change, whether internal or external, requires patience, flexibility, and introspection, which can feel overwhelming.
I’ve experienced this myself and came to an important realization: attempting to change someone is not only exhausting but also counterproductive. It’s like trying to swim against a strong current—it consumes your energy without necessarily leading to progress. Instead, I discovered that embracing people for who they are, quirks and all, is not only liberating but also enriching. Dealing with their unique traits, or “shenanigans,” often feels like an adventure. Every interaction becomes an opportunity to learn, not just about them but about myself.
As Carl Jung famously said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” This resonates deeply because it reminds us that the things we wish to change in others often reflect unexamined parts of ourselves.
When I shifted my focus from trying to change others to understanding and accepting them, I started to see life differently. Ralph Waldo Emerson put it beautifully: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” By honoring others’ authenticity, we encourage them to do the same for us.
This perspective shift helped me appreciate the beauty of our differences. As Maya Angelou said, “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.” Yet, it’s in those subtle differences that we find the richness of connection and growth. By understanding and accepting others, we grow more compassionate, self-aware, and open-minded.
In the end, life isn’t about molding others into our expectations—it’s about learning, growing, and thriving together in our unique, interconnected ways. After all, “The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world.” (Plato).